um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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