ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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