last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
