god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
