The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
