Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
