I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
