so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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