so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
