apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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