at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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