I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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