I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
