i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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