u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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