It's just like the Real World with babies
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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