How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
