I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
