The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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