I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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