he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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