I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
