Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
