theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
