This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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