Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
