I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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