it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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