Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
