It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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