the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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