garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize