i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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