oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
