Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize