and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I die, sorry about rent.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
