There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
