I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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