Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
