Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
