matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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