Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
