Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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