Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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