yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
