Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
