Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
