Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize