so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
