Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
