i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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