Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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