when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
