i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
