Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
