why didn't you poke me back
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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