So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
