Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
