The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
