No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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