roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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