Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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