So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
