We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
