I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
