things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
