Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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