do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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