There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
They have beer where we have blood.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize