why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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